A healthy relationship is one in which both the partners are at peace with each other and are growing towards betterment. But many of the times two people are unable to adjust together and the constant misunderstandings, arguments and fights result in parting their ways. Breaking up is not always as harmful as it seems, sometimes it is better to let go of the things that only cause you distress, which is in greater benefit of both the parties.
Nick Cannon said, “Nobody can predict the future. You just have to give your all to the relationship you’re in and do your best to take care of your partner, communicate and give them every last drop of love you have. I think one of the most important things in a relationship is caring for your significant other through good times and bad.
Realizing the fact that humans are not really strong in the matters of heart, break-ups are not easy as well. And many of the times they consider staying in touch with their former-partners if not through a romantic relation than by a friendly one. This thought might not be as attractive as it sounds to be due to the following reasons.
Moving on is not that easy
Man is a naturally stubborn creature, and sometimes his determination results in destroying himself. One cannot forget his or her partner quickly of course, but in order to get through it one must try to distance himself from the memories of that bad period. And remaining friends with your exes means constant interaction with your past, which in no way is going to help you get over it.
Veronica Roth described it perfectly, “In my own relationships, I know that I should break up with someone who doesn’t encourage me to be strong and make my own choices and do what’s best in my life, so if you’re dating someone who doesn’t want you to be the best person you can be, you shouldn’t be dating them”.
Staying together with someone for a long time really makes you attached to them sentimentally, and not everyone can form that bond with you quickly which has been strengthened for a length of time. Thus, in this battle of emotions one is attracted automatically towards their former partners.
What to keep in notice is that if that connection had been so stable, it would not have been broken with ease. So, staying attached to the one who is not meant for you will only bring in more pain. Joyce Meyer said, “Top of FormIt’s so important to realize that every time you get upset, it drains your emotional energy. Losing your cool makes you tired. Getting angry a lot messes with your health”.
Fear of loneliness
Aristotle said that “Man is by nature a social animal”, and the idea of spending life alone especially when you have been in a long relationship, can be really scary. Mother Teresa said, “Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty”. This fear often forces people to resume any type contact with their exes, not realizing the fact that a relation in which you feel left out by your partner is more lethal than being single. So, if this is also your reason to approach your ex, think twice.
Hoping for a patch-up
Majority of the people take it as an opportunity for accessing their relationship again though the path of friendship. This is not as simple as it might seem to be; because a tough experience can teach you a lot of lessons one of them is to remain cautious about your friend’s circle. Along this line, this can never be a successful plan.
They know your secrets
Moving on from someone can be really difficult because of the fact that your ex was the one aware with all your secrets and your mysteries. This can be a source of constant danger that he or she may not miss any chance of exploiting you. Thus, by remaining friends one might lessen the hatred and agony between them, but if someone can go this much below the belt, friendship or any contact with them is pure waste of time.
Don’t make the same mistake again
Dave Pelzer said, “It is possible to trust a wrong one but trusting the same person again is not a good choice at all. Even if it is really hard staying alone, never give anyone the chance to hurt you twice. Trusting the one who broke you even in friendship can bring more misery in your life. According to Albert Einstein, “Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters”.
“Whatever we are waiting for – peace of mind, contentment, grace, the inner awareness of simple abundance – it will surely come to us, but only when we are ready to receive it with an open and grateful heart” – Sarah Ban Brathnach
Trust cannot be re-built so easily
The word that sounds the simplest can have the deepest meanings; a relationship is basically built on these five letters “T-R-U-S-T”, which if once broken cannot be mend so easily. One who has betrayed you in a romantic relationship cannot relied upon in any matter with ease. Thus, if you are thinking to be friends with your ex, be prepared to face difficulties in the way.
George Tennet summed it up,Top of FormBottom of Form”You know, at the end of the day, the only thing you have is trust and honor in this world. That’s all you have. All you have is your reputation built on trust and your personal honor. When you don’t have that anymore, well, you know, there you go. Trust was broken”.
It will cause more pain
Staying focused to the cause of the pain can never cure you, in order to heal yourself you have to treat the wound and not worsen it. Same is the case here, if you continue to be friends with your ex it will just act as salt in your wounds.
Seeing the face of the same person, no matter how much he or apologizes cannot wipe away the pains of the past days totally. And for this reason you both can never be good friends and may be even become enemies. Make your happiness priority, “Today I choose life.
Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain… To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices – today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it”- Kevyn Aucoin
Some things never change
Change towards betterment is always welcomed and if you are approaching your ex with the thought that they might become a better person is a good thought. But the reality may just be opposite, not everyone and everything changes, some people are quite stiff in their behavior. So, before making any such decisions ensure that your choice does not cause you any more mental loss.
Kyle Schmid said, “This past year has been something else… it’s opened my eyes to many things and many people. It’s had its ups and downs and ins and outs. And I believe we’ve all been able to take something from that and grow in our own imparticular ways. We’ve overcome obstacles, and set in motion opportunities that can change our own individual lives.”
Learn to move forward
Eckhart Tolle said, “Top of FormThere is a fine balance between honoring the past and losing yourself in it. For example, you can acknowledge and learn from mistakes you made, and then move on and refocus on the now. It is called forgiving yourself”. Life is all about moving on, one should consider heartbreak as a lesson of life, learn from it and move forward.
We do not claim that it is an easy task but surely is a relieving one. Living in your past and returning to it again and again will only cause more stress. This process might take time but will surely bring you peace and content.
After reading the above mentioned reasons, we hope you will be more careful in making your relations and always consider giving priority to yourself. Pierce Brosnan motivates us with these words, “ I think you make the best with what you’ve got, you know? Sometimes you have very little.
And you just always try to rise to higher ground, because you’re going to suffer one way or the other, so you just hope that you have strength and perseverance and good friends and faith, some kind of faith, to endure and move on to greener pastures”.