Marriage is one of the most important and difficult of all contracts that a person can make in his life. It should be made clear that this list in no way puts blame on men for destroying a marriage. It takes account and highlights the patterns that male behavior contributes towards the failing of a marriage. As the popular saying goes, you need two hands to clap.
Women also share the blame when a marriage dissolves. Marriage exists beyond love and things may not work when you marry the love of your life. Here are 6 ways through which men destroy their marriages.
Underestimating the small gestures
Marriage takes work and commitment from both partners. Women are by nature more romantic and nurturing as compared to men. Most of the time, women take up the role of making small gestures through which relationships and marriages survive. Women take great pride in making these small gestures for their significant other and are always on the lookout for ways and means to make them feel loved.
Somewhere along the line, men neglect and forget to reciprocate this effort. Everyone can remember a birthday or an anniversary and make a grand gesture. The smaller gestures of love take care, consideration and planning. This is what makes them so much more special than a surprise birthday party or an expensive anniversary gift.
Not caring about her insecurities
Women are complex and always think between lines. When you are married, do not brush off your partner’s insecurities and instead pay attention to what she is trying to tell you, vocally or through little hints. If she feels insecure about the way she looks, hold her hand, look her in the eyes and tell her that she is the most beautiful woman you ever saw. Doing this instead of laughing it off and telling her she’s being silly will only earn you and her some peace of mind. Make her feel that you care about the things that worry her and the thoughts that keep her up at night. It is for better and for worse after all.
Letting anger seep in
Anger is the most natural of all human reactions. When you are married, you can’t be on your best behavior all the time. Eventually things and life will get to you and it is perfectly normal to be angry. But channel your anger in the right way and manner. Snapping at your partner because you had an awful day at work will not earn you any cookie points.
Rushing into marriage
Let’s say you met someone and both of you fell madly in love with each other. Things led to marriage before the two of you had the opportunity to really get to know the other person. A few months later you realize that she is not the same person you married and she is having the same revelations as well. The truth of the matter is that you are both the same person you married but you just didn’t take enough time to get to know the real person you were marrying. Marriage isn’t about marrying the right person but about making life work with the right person.
Never saying ‘sorry’
Arguments and fights are inevitable when you are married. The trick is to make sure to never let them get too far and out of hand. No argument is worth destroying your marriage over especially when it comes to petty issues. Instead of trying to gain the upper hand or the last word, walk away from an argument and see how the relationship thrives. Instead of letting your egos get the better of you simply tell each other that you are sorry and let bygones be bygones.
Trying to ‘fix’ her
She is not broken that you try to fix her and be a better version of her. Your love and commitment should make her want to become a better person. Instead of focusing on her flaws and imperfections, spend your time and energy into building her up and supporting her life endeavors. Marriages crumble under constant criticism and judgmental attitudes.