Oral sex is a sensual and sexually rewarding experience provided both the partners are on the same page. Just like intercourse and foreplay, oral sex should also be extensively discussed and communicated despite feeling awkward or uncomfortable.
Not only will it bring you and your partner closer together and build mutual trust but also help put their fears at ease and make them see the fun side of it. One thing is essential and that is bringing up the topic of oral sex with them which has to be done carefully and by respecting their feedback all the time.
Following are few approaches discussed to incorporate oral sex in your conversation with your partner.
3. Being respectful of your partner’s sexual inhibitions
It is very important to take things slowly and not just be upfront about a topic which may make them uncomfortable. You could initially just talk about your sexual fantasies and what really turns you on. As you shed your insecurities you inadvertently give them the confidence to come forward and share their sexual desires.
The conversation is not one where you both are required to seriously reflect on the topic but a general fun filled and intimacy inducing exchange of ideas. The idea is to be subtle but give your partner some indication of your desires.
If you feel that your sex life is not at the stage to incorporate oral sex yet then instead of forcing a conversation you could step up foreplay amongst yourself. As you both will become increasingly comfortable with each other’s body and exploring the different options to stimulate each other, oral sex will naturally follow your bedroom adventures.
Especially if you are in a committed long term relationship you both would regularly communicate exactly where you stand in your sex life. This is necessary so that oral sex discussion is not felt awkward or uncomfortable.
If your partner is not too forthcoming you need to take charge and bring the topic of sexual intimacy. This is essential in order to become comfortable around the topic of intimacy and enjoying each other.
2. Listen to her feelings on the subject
In order to make her be more confident and forthcoming about the topic you need to be more open and direct. After hinting at your desires and sexual fantasies you need to become more explicit gradually.
Just make sure you do not forget that you and your partner share the sex life and you are not being selfish or forceful. Just state your desires in a straightforward manner.
The next important thing will be to actually listen to their feedback. It is very important to know what their opinion on the matter is. You may not like if they refused initially but at least you are comfortable with the fact that they know what you want. They might come around in their own time you just need to be respectful of their decisions.
The next thing you could do is to know what makes them so put off by oral sex. Once again open and direct communication is necessary to exactly know why they have their inhibitions. Oftentimes we just focus on our own desires rather than quelling our partner’s concerns which proves to be the biggest obstacle to making them come around.
So try to address their concerns and ask if in any way you could make the experience more pleasing or comfortable for her.
1. Always accommodate your wife or girlfriend and never assume or jump to conclusions
Just discussing oral sex and your desires has not entitled you to receive the act. You need to understand that sex is a two way street and the other person will like to take things up in their own pace and style. You need to gradually make the oral sex be incorporated into your sex life.
It is a huge turn off to force your desires on your partner and most probably face rejection as well. So after saying your piece about your desires give it time. Just remember that these acts are extremely intimate and require time.
After all sex is more enjoyable when approached with mutual understanding, desire and trust.